October 2016 Newsletter

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What’s on at Northern Beaches Counselling & Mediation

October 2016 Newsletter


A Couple’s Journey



Relationship Stages (Part Two)

Sep 28, 2016 10:07 am

Relationship Stage 1: When all I can see is the good bits of you The first phase of a ‘real’ relationship is called ‘Symbiosis or Exclusive Bonding’. You arrive at a dance, your eyes lock in on someone across the other side of the room and you know that this is the person with whom […]

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Stages of Relationship (Part One)

Sep 21, 2016 10:08 am

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” Shakespeare Following on from my previous blog entries introducing the idea of scripts and the games people play it seems appropriate to now address the ‘acts’ or stages that your script takes you through and of the games we play as we […]

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What Is This Thing Called Chemistry? (Part Two)

Sep 14, 2016 10:01 am

Is It Chemistry Or ‘Script’? For me the answer to this question is easy. It is ‘script’ which, in truth, may also be about the chemistry or the chemical response we have when we first meet the person we think will be the love of our lives. But I’ll say more about that later. As […]

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What Is This Thing Called Chemistry? (Part One)

Sep 06, 2016 07:03 pm

There have been many theories to explain how we come to choose the people that we will go into a relationship with. Some theories focus on our attraction being most often to the people that have qualities or characteristics that we may not feel we have ourselves and unconsciously believing that if we miss them […]

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Relationship Remedy



Creating Great Conditions for Great Sex

Sep 28, 2016 12:33 am
Great sex is vital to the continuing development of all great relationships and vice-versa; having a great relationship will ensure that the sex is also great. Men and women often think that sexual responses and satisfaction are reflexes that automatically leap into action once the right buttons are turned on or when the light is […]
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How to Fight Fair When You Disagree (Part Two)

Sep 21, 2016 12:08 am
A New Dance In my last article I wrote about some ideas I have about fighting fairly. Here are some more ideas for you. One of my most important rules for fair fighting contains a strong resistance, even though it doesn’t always work, to defend myself, or to shut down completely. I do this by […]
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How to Fight Fair When You Disagree (Part One)

Sep 14, 2016 12:01 am
Many books and articles have been written on the topic of how to get through these really difficult times in your relationship and about how to ‘fight’ our way through them in a fair way. This means that the outcome will only be found in consideration of our own contribution to the conflict as well […]
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Common Reasons Why Couples Fight and How to Solve Them

Sep 05, 2016 12:05 am
Whatever stage of relationship you are in there will be some conflict. Disagreements are not only normal but are a necessary part of the development of a healthy relationship. Without them there would be insufficient motivation to want to move on and strive for something better. The reasons couples fight are many and varied but […]
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Love Lies & Games



The Traffic Light for Change

May 11, 2016 10:08 am

In all relationships there is only one kind of response to your partner that is acceptable. If the couple are well tuned to themselves and each other this could be happening from the beginning though for many this is a growth thing and doesn’t develop until much later as you come to know each other…

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Getting What You Want from Your Partner

Apr 30, 2016 10:25 am

Pavlov’s Dogs and Skinner’s Theory of Conditioning Ivan Pavlov, a Russian Physiologist, and BF Skinner, a US Psychologist, are most well known for their experiments with behaviour in the early 1900s. You might recall hearing about Pavlov’s behaviour modification experiments with dogs and pairing feeding them meat with a ringing bell. Naturally the dog would…

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How to Be Assertive

Mar 23, 2016 11:14 am

When in relationship, as in life, our thoughts, feelings and behaviours become habits. Getting what you want could thereby follow those old well-worn habits, sometimes successfully and sometimes not. If not, you could use this to inspire and even change the way you express your thoughts and feelings. You can become more assertive by following…

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Responding Assertively to Game Playing

Mar 11, 2016 04:39 am

I will illustrate the topic with an example from the story of “Lyn” and “James”. At one time Lyn decides to take her children on vacation with a girlfriend and her children for a few days. But when Lyn tells James of the plan, he is not OK with it. When she asks why, he…

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A Couple’s Journey
Relationship Remedy
Love Lies & Games

Recent Events

What Makes Me The Way I Am?

What Makes Me So Different From You?
Have you ever spoken with your family and discovered that when talking about how life was for you as a child it’s like you grew up in two different families? …
Click here to learn more.


Quizzes & Questionnaires

The “Chemistry” Test

Here’s a test to measure how well your sexual relationship is working.

Answer the following questions about what’s true or false for you and your partner.

Click here to start the quiz.

What’s Your Favorite Position?

To discover your favorite place in the games you play with your partner, try this quick quiz.

Check off the responses that feel most like you. The position that has the highest number of checks in the “frequently” column is the one from which you are most likely to play your games.

Click here to start the quiz.

Other Quizzes & Questionnaires

Click here to find out more.